DWTS – First Impressions of the Women

Here's my first impressions of the women in what turned out to be a
night of upsets and apparently newly discovered cataracts on the part
of a certain judge…scores from me for the first dance, not the
relay…

Natalie Coughlin may have what it takes to make
it all the way…or not…both of her dances, while decent, could have
been a lot better. Her salsa was positively DULL. Her relay was
actually better than her full dance. My score was a 7.

Macy Gray…ok,
wow…what a character. She's not long for DWTS, and is probably going
home tomorrow, but her waltz was interesting, if not terribly good.
Still, though, she gave it a shot. Her cha cha cha was just
abysmal…my score was a 6.

Melissa Joan Hart was elegant
and stylish in her waltz, and I thought it was much better than the
judges did. I thought her footwork was off, but her lines were good,
and she showed a lot of character. She was equally good in her cha cha
cha, and Mark is an excellent fit for her. My score was an 8.

Kathy Ireland
is a beautiful woman, and if she gets going, she could get better, but
I'm not holding my breath. Her salsa was non-existent in the sex appeal
department, and her foxtrot was better, but was still lacking. My score
was a 6.

Joanna Krupa was the second best dancer of the
night. Her Salsa was full of fire, even if the costume was absolutely
HIDEOUS – it made her look like Big Bird at times. Her foxtrot deserved
top prize too. My score was an 8.

Debi Mazar was thought
by many fans to be somewhat of a ringer when she was announced. News
will travel fast – she's not. In fact, she's not that good at all.
While her salsa had some fire, I liked her better on the foxtrot.
Interesting chemistry with Maks too…my score was a 6

I've come to the conclusion that it's officially time for LenBob CrabbyPants to maybe take a cue from American Idol's  Paula Abdul
and take his leave of DWTS. He has been COMPLETELY AND UNFATHOMABLY
inconsistent in his judging the past two evenings, first giving Aaron Carter
a completely undeserved 8 for his barely average (and sloppy) cha cha
cha last night, and then completely LOSING HIS MIND by giving Mya's incredible and elegant waltz a FIVE. His snide personal shots, at Louie Vito last evening and at Dimitry Chapin
this evening…they crossed the line as far as this DWTS fan is
concerned, and I'm going to be holding his ass to the fire for the rest
of the season for it. Dimitry's choreography was excellent. And you tell Dimitry that he let Mya down? SHAME ON YOU, Len Goodman…You are the one that let people down…You have been incredibly RUDE the past two evenings, and you owe both Louie Vito and Dimitry Chapin on air APOLOGIES for your comments.  You were WRONG when you said Kelly Osbourne's was the best waltz of the evening – that honor goes to Mya, hands down. My Score was a 9. 

Kelly Osbourne
surprised the HELL out of me…I had written her off almost from the
beginning as an early departure, but after tonight, I will step up and
admit I was totally WRONG (betcha Len won't do that…heh heh heh).
Kelly's dances this evening were outstanding, and showed that she is
going to be in this one for the long haul. WOW, talk about upsets….My
score was an 8

WOMEN'S SCORECARD:

JOANNA KRUPA  34

MYA                    31

KELLY OSBOURNE  31

NATALIE COUGHLIN   27

MELISSA JOAN HART  22

DEBI MAZAR          22

KATHY IRELAND  20

MACY GRAY      19

Several upsets this evening, most notably Kelly Osbourne's fantastic
performances. Who's going home on Wednesday? Probably Macy Gray, who's
at the bottom of the women's leaderboard. But supermodels have a bad
track record in previous seasons, so it could be Kathy Ireland. It's
too close to call.

Odds and ends…

I'm sure i'll have plenty more to rant about
when it comes to Len's unbelievable first week scores and attitude on
this week's show. I just think he crossed the line from constructive to
insulting several times this week. Leave the snide comments to Simon
Cowell, and bring back the friendly if gruff Len Goodman from the first
several seasons…this nasty version isn't working for me at all..

This
isn't the last of my rants either…if someone gets screwed, I'm gonna
say so…and if the judges – ANY OF THEM – don't like it, maybe it's
time they stepped into the shoes of the fans on the odd occasion and
see what they're thinking…

TOMORROW NIGHT – MIRRORBALL MAYHEM
PODCAST RETURNS WITH THIS WEEK'S ANALYSIS AND THE FIRST WEEK'S
ELIMINATIONS – DON'T YOU DARE MISS IT!