ESCountdown 2019: #41 -“Telemoveis” by Conan Osirus, Portugal

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IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN! Welcome to my ESCountdown 2019, presented by eCinemaOne, The Kirkham Report, and Planet BiblioMusica! Between April 7 and May 10, I will countdown my picks of the entries in the Eurovision Song Contest 2019! There are 41 countries participating this year, and we’ll bring you each and every entry from them all!

Laat year, when we first launched our ESC coverage, we did the songs in random order. This year, I’m changing things up a bit. Due to copyright issues with the way I did my TKR videos on YouTube, my ESC show last year never made it to public consumption. So this year, rather than just cover the songs, I’m bringing you all the info on each song this year ranked in order of my personal preference from bottom to top. I’ll give the reasons for my personal rankings, and some background info on the song, artist, songwriters, and such.  Again, these are MY opinions, and I realize that the ESC fan community is a rabid one, and rarely everyone agrees with everyone else, so as they say, your mileage may vary.

Kicking things off for 2019 at #41 is the official entry from Portugal, “Telemoveis” by Conan Osirus, written by the artist. The song is performed in Portuguese. Osirus (real name Tiago Miranda) got his stage name by combining the name of the Japanese anime series Future Boy Conan with the name of the Egyptian god Osirus. A performance artist and musician, it was his win at Portugal’s annual Festival Da Cancao that shot him to stardom in his native country and won him the honor of performing this year’s entry from the country.

Hmmmm….ok, where to start with this one? Portugal has a history of picking oddball selections for the contest, and this one…wow…this one is about as oddball as you can get. The song, whose title translates to “Mobile Phones” in English, is….um…unique? Different? Just plain WEIRD? Ok, we’ll go with that one. The song is about someone who breaks their mobile phone and apparently just can’t live without it.  Because I don’t speak Portuguese, I don’t know for sure, but I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be some kind of satire, along the lines of 2017’s popular entry from Italy’s Francisco Gabbini, “Occidentali’s Karma“. And the presentation…OMG…I realize we are not all one musical world, but how this thing could ever take off outside of its native land I will never figure out – it’s a mix of what looks to be kabuki theatre, middle eastern musical lines, and I don’t know what else. All I know that IMHO, it’s just plain BAD. BAD BAD BAD. The singer SEEMS to end up off key more often than not, but this might be intentional, i don’t know. I just DON’ T GET THIS ENTRY. At ALL.

Portugal made its EuroVision debut in 1964, missing the finals 8 times since semi-finals were introduced in 2004, and they missed five years altogether for various reasons. They held the record for the longest record of participation without a win until 2017, when they finally found a Grand Champion in Salvador Sobral’s “Amar pelos dois“, whose huge and wild popularity is still beyond me. Their followup to that win, “O Jardim” by Claudia Pascoal, finished dead last in the 2018 Grand Final.

Here’s the official music video…hold on to your hats folks…you’re gonna lose it if you don’t…

Join eCinemaOne, The Kirkham Report, and Planet BiblioMusica each day through this year’s finals on May 18 – be sure to check each site, because some of the features will be exclusive to just one of the sites! My daily song countdown will appear on all three sites, with some additional material coming to both Planet BM and TKR in the days and weeks’  ahead.

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Catch all the official EuroVision action at their official Website and on their official YouTube channel! And hopefully, we’ll get to see the finals again this year (although nothing is confirmed yet) on LogoTV!

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